Good Habits Die Hard – Day 58

26 May 2021 – Day 58 of my personal challenge to become a blogger by writing here on my WordPress site, while studying the process of habit formation.

Juliette Denny points out that, as well as praising yourself for a job well done, you also need to be able to see progress, so that you can praise yourself overall, as the new habit begins to show beneficial results. What’s the point otherwise, dear reader, of all that effort?! Juliette suggests that we tend to underestimate the importance of the immediate praise, as we finish the behaviour and we also underestimate the importance of the assessment and praise over time. These two elements, regularly and humourously attended to, mean that we do not take the effort for granted, but rather acknowledge the achievement and a job well done…as we should!

Juliette led me to explore the Hook Model work of Nir Eyal. Nir describes the success of the internet giants at hooking us in, time and time again. They lead us to believe that their service is irresistible and, in return, they get the big bucks. By default, they become the dream destroyers, as we end up with less time for beneficial habits. They have imposed a habit on us, that some of us try to resist, but, like a fish on a hook, getting free may be a challenge.

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 57

24th May 2021 – day 57 of my personal 66 challenge to become a blogger here on WordPress, while carrying out some research on the process of good habit formation.

Juliette Denny looks at the importance of habit formation in the commercial world. She emphasises a 4th step in the habit forming loop…that of investment. For example, when I embedded a renewed habit of going to the swimming pool 3 times per week, my cue was the bag sitting next to the front door on the day I am due to go swimming. The behaviour is the swim itself and the reward is that feeling I get when I come out of the pool, feeling energised. This feeling can be enhanced by saying ‘Yeah’ or ‘well done’ to myself in a dramatic way, as I walk home from the pool. Juliette suggests that you can add another layer …that of investment. In my case, over time, this would involve praising myself for the obvious benefits in physical fitness that come from 3 times per week swims. So, in a sense there is short term praise and long term recognition of the effort involved and the benefits reaped. Together, these practices will encourage me to keep swimming, especially if I put a little drama into it : )

Let’s apply that rationale to my blog challenge, which is nearing its end. The cue has been working reasonably well, in that as soon as I finish my daily typing practice, I immediately write my blog. If I don’t have time to do my typing practice, my blog doesn’t get done that day either. The behaviour is writing the blog itself. The reward is that feeling of satisfaction which comes when I select the ‘publish’ button. So what about this element of ‘investment’ that Juliette mentions? In the case of this blog, I would expect to see an increase in my pleasure of writing it. I would also expect to have an ongoing sense of satisfaction that it is another opportunity to practice my typing skills. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the thrill of knowing how many people have read my blog. WordPress kindly provides stats for this and, so far, the answer to this final question is – not many are reading it. But a big thanks to Cherril, Claudia and David and anyone else who has cast a glance over my musings.

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 56

21 May 2021 – Day 56 of my personal 66 day challenge to become a blogger here on WordPress, while studying the process of good habit formation.

Thomas Frank describes how people who choose to be organised have good habit formation at their core. For example, they don’t rely on their memory to do things. We all know how gloriously unreliable our memories can be. My 4 kids chuckle when I mix their names up. Sorry guys! I really am a good mother : ) For organising events, I love the Google calendar app. I find the presentation very attractive and I love the way that when you put the location in, it places a picture of that location in your calendar. I’ve just added one for a first time visit to the Lake District in June, and the photo is awesome!

When I set up the event in Google Calendar, I can opt for a notifications by email an hour before the event, so that I get a little nudge beforehand. Another simpler method is a note on the floor. I go swimming 3 times a week and now it has to be a pre-booked session, because of the social distancing guidelines, I find that the note of the floor, with the word ‘swim’ does the trick and ensures that I don’t forget. Of course, the old-fashioned alarm is a great organising device. I have two alarms each morning. One to wake up for work, which I usually pre-empt and another to let me know that it is time to leave, so that I don’t have to rush the 30 minute drive. We all have our Aide Memoire….what’s yours?

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 55

19 May 2021 – Day 55 of my personal, 66 challenge to become a blogger here on WordPress, while studying the concept of good habit formation.

Thomas Frank is a young man on a mission. Thanks to his experience as a child growing up in a military family, he seems committed to good habit formation. Yesterday, I talked about his focus on physical fitness habits, which would be an obvious choice, for an adult from a military family background. However, he also talks about mental habits, such as the habit of writing a blog! That’s me!! He quite cleverly suggests going into your computer settings and selecting your writing programme to open when you start up. This provides a little nudge (would that I had known about that 55 days ago :)). For Windows, this can be achieved by following these steps, and for Macbook these. This automated setup then fits in the IF/THEN logic I discussed yesterday, in that IF I turn my computer on, THEN the start up menu will deliver my writing programme as a prompt. So, as Thomas says, it not only reminds you to do the habit, but it also makes it easy for you by creating a suitable environment i.e. delivering your blog site straight to your computer screen upon start up. No excuses now : )

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 54

18th May 2021 – day 54 of my personal 66 day challenge to become a blogger here on WordPress, while doing some research into the topic of habit formation.

Thomas Frank points out the habit formation can be stressful. To make it easier and more achievable, he suggests using the IF/THEN logic, that I mentioned yesterday, in order to bind the habit. Many habit formation gurus seem to favour this technique. I love IF/THEN logic and not only because it originated in Ireland, via the great English mathematician, George Boole : ) It makes such sense to me. Thomas uses the example of a complex board game to explain the conditional statements involved. I prefer to think of Monopoly – IF you pass GO, THEN collect £200 : ) Thomas also mentions the algorithms used on the internet, in order to drive our interest i.e. IF you seem to be clicking on a certain topic, THEN the algorithm will deliver more of the same. Marketing made easy!

Thomas recognises that we’re not automatons and that the IF/THEN technique might not work every time. However, with the help of environmental design, you will have more chance of success. I mentioned this in the early days of this blog. I’m going swimming tomorrow and the bag is ready already! Thomas really wanted to become good at pull ups, so he fitted a pull up device at the door to his home office. Bingo! My number 3 son David, wanted to practice the guitar, so he kept it close by, so that whenever the urge took him, he could pluck the stings to his heart’s content, even if it was only for a few minutes.

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 53

17 May 2021 – Day 53 of my personal challenge to become a blogger in 66 days, by embedding a habit of writing here on Word Press, while doing some research on the skill of habit formation.

Susan Weinchenck emphasises the important of the combination between muscle memory and dopamine release in habit formation. She gives the example of overuse of mobile phones, where you flick through an app and get a release of dopamine as a reward and then you’re in this vicious circle or a ‘conditioned response’, as Susan calls it. Susan suggests that you can use a ‘counter move’ to interrupt the cycle and place yourself back in charge. Her counter move for the phone example is ‘press the home button and turn the phone face down on a flat surface’. Susan laughingly adds ‘and back away’ : )This sounds very much like the Tiny Habits technique for good habit formation, in that, IF you do X (put your feet to the floor first thing in the morning) THEN do Y (say: ‘today is another day to be grateful’. What you are doing then, in Susan’s example, is creating a more positive conditioned response, in response to the negative conditioned response….if that makes sense?! : ) It does to me, dear Reader : )

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 52

15 May 2021 – The 52th day of my personal 66 challenge to embed a habit of writing regularly here on WordPress, while studying the process of habit formation itself.

Joe Dispenza suggests that meditation is a key component in committing to change as you seek to establish a new, hopefully more beneficial, habit. As Benignus O’Rourke said: ‘out of our resting comes the vision of how our lives might change. By thinking about the positive change as already existing, you will create new, or reformed, neural networks in your brain that see this new, brighter vision as already a reality. If you feel happy often enough, for example, despite your circumstances, you stand a good chance of deflecting the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune‘ that life presents you with. It’s a bit like when I was a child in Ireland. I had to walk a mile to get water from the pump by the side of the road. However, I had to bring some water to prime the pump, in order to persuade it to relinquish the precious water deep within. I can now confess to the fact that, during a lopsided walk back to my grandmother’s house, I sloshed half of my precious cargo over the road. But then I suspect that my grandmother knew that would happen. So today, as an extension to yesterday’s meditative exercise, try feeling a little happiness throughout your day, in order to get a lot. Some of it will slosh out, that’s inevitable, but it’s still worth the effort. What have you got to lose?! : ) Enjoy x

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 51

14 May 2021 – Day 51 of my personal 66 challenge to be a amatuer blogger here on WordPress, while studying the principles of habit formation.

According to Joe Dispenza, and other researchers who I mentioned in previous posts, familiarity, based on habit formation is comforting, but can also be controlling. Sometimes, we see ourselves as helpless victims of our past experiences, rather than as creators of our own little slice of time. This might explain how some people who have had really bad experiences can rise above that experience, while someone else, who might have had an unpleasant, but less traumatic experience, might be negatively affected by it for the rest of their lives. Joe tells us that the control can be interrupted and redirected in a more beneficial way through mindful meditation. Meditation encourages us to come into the present moment and be aware of, but impervious to, the unrepeatable past and detached from the unpredictable future. At the same time, we can use the meditative process to envisage the positive change that we desire in our lives, right now. If you spend a few restful moments saying the word ‘happy’, as you breathe gently and mindfully, imagine how you will feel afterwards, as opposed to saying the word ‘unhappy’ instead. Try it now and see – I’m not going anywhere : )

Well? x

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 50

13 May 2021 – Day 50 of my personal 66 day challenge to become a blogger while studying the role of habit formation in our lives.

Joe Dispenza suggests that our daily habits become our routine, but that we need to be wary about being driven by that routine, rather than allowing it to support our day. Nowhere is this more clearly seen than in the case of someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Their habits control them to the point where their daily life is less pleasant as a result. Joe advocates meditation as a way of making sure that our habits are working in our best interests. By slowing the brain down, becoming aware of your breathing and coming into the present moment, you become a relaxed observer of the inevitable, compulsive chattering of your brain. Sometimes, that chatter is driven by a deep, unconscious reaction to an event in the past, which then shapes a particular negative habit. Over time and with patience, meditation allows you to expose negative habit formation for what it is – a destructive programme of intermingled thoughts and emotions. The programme can to be rewritten – by you! However, be warned, my friend, Joe says once you decide to make a change, it will feel uncomfortable. That’s why the principles that I’ve discussed previously are SO important – Tiny Habits with lots of praise will win the day. Yeah!

Good Habits Die Hard – Day 49

12 May 2021 – the 49th day of my personal challenge to become a blogger here on my WordPress site, while doing some research into the formation of beneficial habits.

Sarah Stevenson makes a good point to improve and maintain mental health and wellbeing. She puts forward the suggestion that we should develop a habit of being happy for other people, rather than being resentful, or even jealous, of what they have. Rather than coveting what they have, e.g the big house, the fast car, the great job – just be happy for them and leave it at that. Focus instead on activities that improve your life. Jealousy is certainly not one of them. Sarah insists that just going outside and doing some activity that you enjoy enhances your life tremendously. As a point of contrast, choose a time to tidy your living space. Sarah has chosen Tuesday as her Tidy Time, because she likes alliteration : ) I have a schedule when I do certain things throughout the month, with the 29th, 30th and 31st of each month being my down time : ) Each to their own. But claim ownership of your Tiny Habits and your life will be more balanced and fulfilled, regardless of what is going on in someone else’s life.